Today, my girlfriend left me at a café while she played pickleball with her friends just a few meters away.
And for some reason, I almost cried.
Not because she left me there. Not because I was lonely.
But because I realized how much I missed this.
Me, sitting alone in a café with my laptop. A plate of fries on the table, coffee beside me, and music playing through my AirPods.
Just me, my thoughts, and my work.
I used to do this a lot. And somewhere along the way, life got busy, we relocated, and I didn’t even realize how much I missed these little moments.
Okay, I’m gonna out myself here.
Back when I was living in the city, I had this very questionable routine. During my supposed working hours, I’d either be playing, sleeping, or doing literally anything other than the work I was supposed to be doing. Hahaha.
And then the next day, I’d wake up at around 2 PM, realize I had things to finish, take the quickest shower of my life, and rush to my favorite café.
And somehow, those next two hours would be the most productive two hours of my entire life.
I’d sit there with my laptop, order my usual coffee and food, put my AirPods on, and suddenly become the most hardworking person on earth.
Finishing everything I was supposed to finish yesterday.
The adrenaline. The cramming. The pressure of knowing I had very little time left.
THAT was my fuel. Hahaha.
I don’t know why I functioned that way, but I did. And honestly, I loved it.
By around 5 PM, Yza would arrive at the café, bringing Scrabble for us to play. And the funniest part? I’d already be done with work by then. Hahaha.
So we’d just sit there, play Scrabble, hang out, and enjoy the rest of the afternoon.
Looking back, it was such a simple routine. A chaotic one, sure, and probably not the healthiest way to manage my deadlines. But those afternoons were some of my favorite moments.
I had my own rhythm. My own little world. My favorite café. My work, my coffee, and someone I loved showing up at the end of it all with a board game.
And I guess that’s what I miss.
There’s something about sitting in a café, listening to your favorite songs, sipping coffee, and feeling like you can conquer all your work in just a few hours.
No rush. Well, maybe a little rush, knowing me. Hahaha.
But it’s that feeling of being in my own little world, doing my own thing, at my own pace.
And today, sitting here, I felt it again.
That familiar feeling of being completely comfortable in my own company. Of enjoying the little things. Of feeling productive, peaceful, and genuinely happy without needing anything extraordinary to happen.
I didn’t realize how much I needed this until I was finally here again.
And I’m grateful.
Grateful to the Lord for allowing me to experience moments like this. I know this might seem like an ordinary afternoon to someone else.
But to me, it feels like coming home to a part of myself I haven’t visited in a long time.
Maybe I don’t necessarily miss the cramming, the deadlines, or waking up at 2 PM.
Maybe I just miss the version of me who found so much joy in those ordinary afternoons.
And today, for a few hours, I got to be that person again.
I missed this.